We use cookies to analyse traffic and personalise your experience.
Non-essential cookies (analytics & advertising) are not set until you consent.
Declining keeps the site fully functional.
Cookie Policy
"Jellyfluff?" Asked the young boy. His eyes open wide as he stared up at the squat woman stood before him. "As in, the Jellyfluff?"
"The one and only." Jelly winked, watching the filthy mud-covered eyes sparkle in awe.
“Do you want to see my trick with a ping pong ball “ said jelly “ I reckon I can get it at least 15ft now I’ve been doing my exercises “ The boy squirmed as he was taught this trick by his mother .
"No." the boy replied awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot under the watchful stare of the angry Jelly, who's gaze had suddenly turned very intense.
"look kid." she huffed. "if you don't want to watch me pop a pingpong, what do you even want? I haven't got time for this."
The kids stare grew coy as he stared up at her.
"Can you teach me how to throw poo?"
“Throw poo ? , Boy what is this insolence ?” “ It’s been a long time since I’ve done anything like that! “ Exclaimed Jelly as she put the ping pong balls away in her chosen pocket .
An old blind gentleman was walking further down the road , the ping pong ball floated down the storm train towards him . As quick as a flash he picked the ping ball up through his heightened sense of smell . “ jelly is that you” he yelled
Brain fog cascaded on Jelly’s mind . Not just from the unpleasant memories of her past , but because she hasn’t hit the gym since they took away her favourite machine . The “vending”
"Oi!" A rotund older man called from across the alleyway, lurching out with a stumbling grace. "You're Jellyfluff!" He slurred, blinking before wiping the remains of the bland roast dinner he had just consumed in one bite from his lips. "I'm Roy Prime."
“I’ve never seen a pair as big as that before “ Exclaimed Roy Prime , “My mother had a set like that !” Jelly’s Pair was famous as the dangliest in the land .
Jelly paused suddenly, feeling something in the air. Something that gave her a great moment of clarity, somehow breaking the fourth wall as she recognised the names of the authors.
"Nathan?" She whispered aloud. "Strange." She had noticed that this particular half man, half rabbit, seemed to be very obsessed with other peoples mothers. In fact, so much so, that there was a psychiatrist in her world that mentioned something that might apply,. Something to do with him likely wanting to bed his own mother, and taking it out on other people as a way to deflect. She smiled. "Hi Roy!"
Suddenly without warning jellyflulff smelled something fowl in the air before she knew it a wispy old man with his nipples hanging out with a Cape on covered in poop introduced himself. Hi I’m poop mcdinglelfart, can I feel your ping pong balls?
Hi Poop said Jelly, of course you can while they are hanging out to dry. But you do need to do me a favour.
I'm on my way to Greggs (other bakeries are available) to buy Matt the Minge Muncher a Chicken pasty and a Pink Donut - he likes Pink donuts. Could you get them for me?
Jelly stared at poop in confusion, realising suddenly that the man that had written the last chapter, did not know what the fuck a speech mark was, rendering the entire paragraph ineligible.
"What a wanker." She muttered before turning away in disgust.
Jelly walked down the road with her danglers dragging on the floor behind her , in theory jelly would make a good robber as her foot prints would be erased from her saggy maggies covering them up as they dragged upon the floor.
The UK's premiere comic book purchasing platform, five star service guaranteed. If you've got comic books, Funko Pops, or Trading cards, we can help you sell them.
